Don't Let the Handshake Die: Together, We Can Save This Important Cultural Institution

There will be many casualties of the coronavirus pandemic. Thousands of lives will be lost. Businesses will close. Cultural institutions may collapse. Health experts and ordinary citizens have already begun to conjecture about what a post-coronavirus America will look like. 

“I fell in love with the hand shake when I was in high school. In our increasingly digital and impersonal age, there is something about the grasping together of your hand with that of another, accompanied by eye contact and a friendly greeting, that has always struck me as fundamentally human.”

Many people are also forecasting the end of the handshake, including the author of this excellent, and moving, piece from National Review (The true paper of record). I fear for the future of the handshake, which I regard as a uniquely, if not obviously, important cultural institution.

I was first seriously introduced to the handshake when I started taking martial arts classes in the third grade. One of the most enduring lessons I have learned from my martial arts instructor of 12 years is that there is no excuse for a weak handshake. I can hear him explaining the fundamentals even now: “Make sure you have a firm grip, make good eye contact, and speak clearly”.

I fell in love with the handshake when I was in high school. In our increasingly digital and impersonal age, there is something about the grasping together of your hand with that of another, accompanied by eye contact and a friendly greeting, that has always struck me as fundamentally human.

Lest you think I’m making too much of this, consider for a moment all the important moments in our lives that are underscored by handshakes. Handshakes consecrate new friendships. We use them to offer our congratulations at graduation parties, express our appreciation for kind gestures and welcome people into our homes.

Handshakes show unity. We expect candidates for elected office to shake hands before a debate. When kids play sports, we teach them to line up with their teammates at the end of each game and shake hands with their opponents. Before hearing oral arguments, all nine Supreme Court Justices shake hands to show that, though they may disagree with each other, they are still one Supreme Court.

We confer a significant amount of power to handshakes. A bet is a bet, never to be broken, once two parties shake on it. Business people close important deals by shaking hands, and indeed there is a social currency surrounding the practice. We measure how honest a man is based on his record of honoring his word, especially once sealed by a handshake.

Handshakes also help us discern where a relationship stands. A hug offered to a friend at his mother’s funeral is all the more meaningful because both parties are aware that it is a rare, intentional departure from the more formal handshake. Nervous teenage boys are required to shake the hand of their date’s father before leaving for a school dance—and it is amazing how much can be communicated during that brief moment of contact.

Handshakes are like signatures: everyone’s is a little different, and those differences can speak volumes. Some people grasp your hand in both of theirs when shaking hands. Others will grab your elbow. Some people prefer to maintain the embrace for half the conversation, while others cut it short after a few seconds. I’ve seen people offer their hands facing down, facing up and perfectly vertical. I myself like to extend my hand outward with my palm facing up, about half a foot from my body, with my elbow tucked close to my side. 

My initial impression of whether someone is a serious person or not is made almost exclusively by evaluating the quality of their handshake. A limp handshake—especially from another guy, I’ll admit—communicates that the person I’m speaking to has either a lack of confidence in themself or a lack of interest in me.

I love the handshake like an old friend, because it has been there with me for every significant moment of my life. I shook hands with my instructor and the other black belts when I recieved my own and with my principal when I accepted my high school diploma. God willing, I will one day shake President Murray’s hand when I receive my Bachelors Degree.

I know people are scared of the coronavirus, and for very good reason. I understand that once this pandemic subsides and we start to venture out of our homes, people will be hesitant to shake each other's hands. All I ask is this; let’s not let the handshake die. We may need to be more diligent about washing our hands and not touching our face, but I say it’s worth it. The coronavirus has taken enough from us, let’s not let it take the handshake too.