We All Suffer Under the Same Sun
Views on Love
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We all suffer under the sun. As the sun rises upon our daily aspirations and sets upon our faults, one thing remains. We all suffer under the same sun.
Some suffer because of the conditions of their own lives. Some suffer because of the lives of others. Hence, the phrase “the struggle is real,” is uttered across all our mouths.
Even though the causes of our sufferings may be different, there is one area in which we have all felt suffering. That area stems from our complicated love lives within college. Love requires a bond of commitment to another person and too often, like a bad bank loan, many people default on their bonds of love throughout college. We live in a time where people keep their cellphones longer than they keep their relationships. I have seen many people treat love and relationships with the same disregard as bubblegum. They chew upon this feeling of love from another person. It is new, it is sweet, and it is pleasing to the heart. Then, when love loses its taste, they spit that person out, seeking a new love. This leads to distresses of the heart and 2 a.m. calls to your best friend on why this person is not the one. Short term actions like that create long term miseries within us. This way of handling our love life in college is like drinking the saltwater of temporal pleasures and wondering why our souls are still thirsty. This betrayal of the truth makes us suffer.
Do not forget, love is courage. Love requires such a high cost that many are not willing to pay it within this space. If you give someone your all (which is a requirement of love), then, you stand the risk that they might take your all and give nothing in return. Ovid, once famously stated, “I flee who chases me, and chase who flees me.” Some of our love lives can be summed up in this statement. Why is it that the ones who we want the most, are often the ones that want us the least? This realization of the truth makes us suffer.
We may try to cling onto the theme of self-love upon these insights. I have heard my friends say, “It is best to love yourself,” and “Self-love first.” Often I hear, “How can you love another person unless you love yourself!” My response, everything in moderation. As too much chocolate leads to holes in our teeth, too much self-love leads to holes of loneliness and neglect within our souls. Do not mistake self-love for self-deceit. A person in this state refuses to confront their own loneliness by blindly running to the realm of self-love. Many people have mantras around self-love. But ask yourself this, would you prefer hearing the words “I love you” from your own mouth or from the mouth of another? When we are in a crowd, we foolishly say, “I need no one!” When we are alone, we truthfully say, “I need someone.” Loneliness is our heart's way of telling us that it is better to walk the road together than alone. Loneliness signals to our souls that while we possess the bricks of our lives, someone out there possesses the cement. Together, we can construct meaningful lives. With love, we have the chance to build a life with someone that guards against the winds of loneliness and the vicissitudes of existence.
Many people know the story of Narcissus, a young man who falls into the river because he falls in-love with the reflection of himself. Hence, the term narcissism derives from the name of this man. This story warns us of the danger of being too prideful and too overly loving of oneself. One important part is missed. In the story, there is a female called Echo, who loves this man. However, Narcissus fails to see past his own ego, failing to also see that someone else loves him.
The greatest lie we tell ourselves is that we are not loved by anyone but only ourselves. Just as Narcissus ruined himself by falling in love with his own reflection, so too, we must take caution of falling in love with the idea that self-love is self-sufficiency.
We all suffer under the sun. However, some suffering is worthy and a noble cause for the reward it brings. I feel our generation uses the excuse of our youth to justify our lack of commitment in relationships. We prefer temporal pleasure, which brings us eternal pain. Just look at how many people voice their complaints of not meeting anyone seriously online. Short term behavior does not lead to long-term gains. A lack of lasting love is like an onion. Not only does this lack of love have multiple layers within us, but this lack of love will make us cry. We all suffer under the sun. We all must suffer under the sun. So, let us suffer for what is true. Let us suffer for what is noble. Let us suffer for the ones our hearts truly love, not just for now, but rather forever.