My Junioritis is Actually Burnout: How to Spot it and Recover
A man with his hands on his head, dmeonstrating what appears to be burnout from his job. Source: Pixabay
I have senioritis and I’m a college junior – ‘junioritis’ if you will. In high school, I envied my peers who neglected assignments or deadlines in the name of senioritis, or a decline in motivation seen in high school and college seniors that result from their acknowledgment of graduating soon. Once we received acceptance offers from colleges, I should’ve let my shoulders drop a little and sleep in a little later; after all, I’d gotten into college. I thought something was wrong with me because I felt immense guilt turning in an assignment late or not studying as much as I usually would for an exam, despite the fact that graduation was quickly approaching. Whether my sustained motivation despite the coming end of high school remained constant because of my anxiety, a crippling fear of failure or just a desire to succeed, I finished the year with no drop in effort, grades or value placed on school.
In college, that changed. I recently learned that I attained an internship for the upcoming summer that I hope to eventually develop into a career. When the message appeared in my inbox, I didn’t process the news for a few days. Everyone congratulated me, yet I walked around in a daze, telling myself I would celebrate when I finished the week. You read that right – instead of celebrating such a large achievement, I had to prioritize school work and prior commitments. An entire week went by, during which I had to manually remind myself that I had finally scored an internship in something I wanted to pursue and could take a break from other responsibilities, just for a few hours. Wasn’t that a huge accomplishment? Wasn’t an internship (and more specifically a job after college) what I had been working toward for the past 21 years?
That weekend, I lost all sense of self. On Sunday morning, one of my professors assigned something to be due later that night and, having been away from my computer all day, I didn’t see the assignment until late afternoon. I knew that the work I turned in would not be my best, and suddenly felt remorse for having spent the day not completing homework I didn’t even know about. It was then it hit me. What was stopping me from turning in this assignment tomorrow morning? I thought. Could I take a deduction of a few points in exchange for better quality work? Those thoughts were the first indication my mindset had changed. I have an internship, why does this matter as much? It’s not life or death. While this rationale seemed perfectly logical to the friends I relayed my story to, it was extremely out of character for me and marked a loss of the rigidity I held myself to with school work. It also prompted me to question my opinions and feelings. If I wasn’t the girl doing homework around the clock, who was I?
What I was experiencing was a combination of the senioritis I had never let myself experience in high school, and burnout, catalyzed by the realization that I had finally achieved one of my long-term goals. Now that I had an internship, everything I had been doing to get to this point proved worthwhile. Suddenly, I watched as my perspective broadened about the importance of grades and the immense pressure that we put on ourselves to achieve 4.0 GPAs while participating in extracurriculars, playing a sport or working a job.
According to the 2020 Stress in America study by the American Psychological Association, “adults aged 18-24 reported significantly higher stress levels than other generations. Of the Gen Z adults who said they are in college, 87% said their education was a significant source of stress, and stress is often linked to burnout.”
The study describes burnout as “physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance, and negative attitudes toward oneself and others.” In my case, I had endured the symptoms of burnout, including insomnia, irritability, inability to concentrate, headaches and incapability to meet deadlines for the majority of the semester. However, I only recognized the severity of my symptoms and that I was experiencing more than just ‘junioritis’, when I achieved a goal that forced me to evaluate my priorities and reconsider who I am and what I value. When your entire identity focuses on school and academic success, it can be jarring to achieve something and wonder: now what?
In hindsight, I do have a bit of junioritis. While I still have another year of academics to complete, I accomplished a task that society emphasizes in order to be successful, and in that sense, it does feel like I’m nearing the end of my college education. When coupled with the fact that I never experienced senioritis in high school, this phenomenon is completely logical. Now that I’ve recognized the symptoms of burnout, I’m able to start fixing it for the end of the semester.
Recovering from burnout involves acknowledging what you’re feeling, attuning yourself to your body’s needs, and questioning values and decisions that have led to this burnout, according to the Harvard Business Review. For me, the first step of acknowledging what I was feeling involved finally comprehending the immense pressure I have put on myself throughout my academic career. Listening to my body’s needs proved simpler. I allowed myself to get more sleep and tried to lessen extracurricular responsibilities. Then, when I wondered how I got to this point, I considered my tendency to be a perfectionist, a Type A personality, hardworking and determined. I am proud that these traits have worked in harmony to help me succeed, however, I accept that they also proved to be my downfall. But, once I had done everything I could to mitigate excessive stress and mental fatigue, I had to realize that while I may be working to cure the burnout, I'll still have another whole year of junioritis.