Returning to Serbia

In early March, the global COVID-19 pandemic slowly began to affect the whole world, and the United States began to worry. No one was prepared for this, not the governments and certainly not the universities. A pandemic that shut the entire world down, uprooted everyone’s lives and brought significant changes to many. I am one of those people.

I am a Marist senior from Serbia and this is my story: five years ago I came to the U.S. to complete my high school education in hopes of also attending college. I applied to Marist, got in, and became a first-generation college student. I majored in political science and I double-minored in psychology and criminal justice. Like any college student, I complained so many times about having to go to class, so much homework, hundreds of pages of readings, etc., little did I know that a global pandemic will end my college experience early and I would be longing for those things. To make it worse, it happened my senior year, two months before I was supposed to walk that stage loud and proud. We spend four years imagining that day; imagining what will we wear, who will we invite to the audience, what kind of graduation party will we have. We were all looking forward to all the events spring semester has in store for seniors, I know I particularly looked forward to River Fest and getting tipsy with my dear professors. Senior week is probably the most anticipated week for any Marist student, and for me, an international student, that week was going to be extra special and tough. I knew that was it, I knew that senior week was going to be the last time, for a long time, I would be with all of my friends having the time of our lives. 

What I did not know was that March 19 was actually going to be the last time I will see my friends and that all of those events I anticipated are canceled. When Marist notified us that we would have an extended spring break, I was already worried once I received that email about moving online, but I remained naively optimistic. I also naively went on my spring break trip to Las Vegas because at that time my rationale was: “If this is it, I am going out with a great memory of my dream senior year Las Vegas trip.” While there, I tried having fun but it was impossible with all the stress surrounding the day to day shutdowns (shops, restaurants, hotels, airports, etc.), the virus and making sure I was careful, and the possibility of leaving Marist for good. The stress was wild, I did not sleep well and I was covertly extremely anxious. Then, Sunday, March 15 ( 2 days after I got to Vegas) the hotel I was staying at notified me that it is shutting down and that I need to leave by Tuesday, March 17 (instead of the 21). I was urgently attempting to call Delta to switch my flight and they are not picking up. I was freaking out and starting to cry because I have a million thoughts going through my head, such as that I will be stuck in Vegas where everything is shut down and no place to stay. Eventually, they picked up and I was able to catch the last flight on Tuesday from Vegas to NY. 

Finally, I am in New York on March 18 and a friend was kind enough to pick me up and we are driving to Marist. I felt a relief and I thought I will have a few days to decompress and pack up to try and leave for Serbia because Marist had notified us we are indeed moving online. When I received that email, even though deep down I knew it was likely to happen, I broke down. I cried for so many hours. I do not have any family in NY or around it, my “closest” family was in Canada (to which I do not have a visa for) and in California. I was on the phone with my mom who is in Serbia and was freaking out because she is a single mother and I am an only child. All she wanted was to get me out of the U.S. as at that point we all knew it would get bad very quick there. I spent that day clearing out my decorations from my room as I was slowly beginning to pack. 

I went to bed around three in the morning exhausted because I had not been really sleeping since March 12. The loudest, scariest knock of my life wakes me up two hours later at 5 a.m.; the bang was so loud that both I and one of my housemates jumped out of our beds terrified and I ran for the door. It was Marist security, my heart stopped, they were telling me to urgently call my family. Without any exaggeration that was a moment where I was sure I would have a heart attack, regardless of my age, because I almost fainted with how fast my heart was beating. I ran for the phone and saw a thousand missed calls and proceeded to call my mom ASAP. 

My mom picks up and says, “Alex, the airport in Serbia as well as all borders shut down there is only one evacuation airplane sent to NYC to pick up our citizens. You are on that flight, it leaves at 3 p.m. Pack whatever you can, leave the rest it is just stuff baby, just get out, ok?” That meant I had to leave for the airport at 10 a.m. and had only five hours to pack and move out five years of my life. I was literally sick to my stomach but with the help of my wonderful housemate, we did it. I left more than half of what I owned behind. I had five suitcases, ordered an Uber and was off to leave the United States, after five years, this is how I was closing my chapter. My college time was over, senior year was over, having fun and saying goodbyes to my friends was canceled, as far as I am concerned 2020 is canceled. 

The airport was scary and stressful as you can imagine, it was an international flight with 200+ passengers on the plane and not everyone had masks and gloves, so the anxiety of catching the virus was high. I had gloves, a N95 mask, glasses, Clorox, antibacterial gels, etc., and it was the most uncomfortable nine hour flight ever. I landed in Serbia on March 20 at 5 a.m. and there is a lot of police and military. The scene was pretty scary. I was ordered a 28 day self-quarantine with being absolutely forbidden to leave my house or I would face a $1500 fine and up to 12 years in prison. Today, as I am writing this, I am on my day number 16. It is hard, both my mom and I are isolating and our wonderful neighbors are doing our groceries and walking our dog. I initially had so many plans to make my quarantine productive — but to tell you the truth I have not really been feeling motivated, and I mostly sleep and read. I am obviously very blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to return and be with my family, but I would lie if I said I was okay. I know none of my fellow seniors, especially international students, are okay and that in itself is okay because we went through hell in literally a few days. So to all of you, even though we are physically separated, we are all in this together, I love you and hang in there.