To Be A Better Ally to the LGBTQ+ Community, You Need to Display Your Pronouns

As our society continues to evolve through new societal norms that align with an increasing acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals, many people have begun to share their pronouns on social media. This is an attempt to dismantle our heteronormative society, which to be straight means being “normal.” 

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If individuals make it clear how they identify, not just by their appearance or society’s decision, they can be better allies to the LGBTQ+ community. This act advocates for uprooting heteronormativity or the belief that heterosexuality is the only natural sexual expression and that since cisgender is the only gender identity, these individuals are all in heterosexual relationships.

Individuals, regardless of their sexual and gender identity, should display their pronouns on social media because it supports mainstream inclusivity of the LGBTQ+ community. By doing so, it holds others accountable for correct pronoun usage — which is basic decency  — but especially important for non-conforming or transgender individuals. 

However, I will make it clear that I believe no one owes anyone an explanation of how they identify, and using pronouns is a personal preference. That being said, I think incorporating pronouns into such widely-used platforms is a way of decentering heterosexuality and cisgender identity for those who use pronouns and especially for those who endure the unjust experience of misgendering. 

According to the New York Times, Facebook took a step towards this in 2014. “Facebook updated its site to include nonbinary gender identities and pronouns, adding more than 50 options for users who don’t identify as male or female, including agender, gender-questioning, and intersex.” 

With the platform taking a stance in supporting the LGBTQ+ community, users will be more likely to consider pronouns in everyday speech, which is the ultimate goal. A 2018 Pew Research Center survey found that Americans have been learning more about the use of pronouns. Six in 10 Americans report that they know a bit about the concept of gender-neutral pronouns such as “they” instead of “he” or “she,” and 22% having heard a lot about this topic. 

The idea of basic respect in using an individual’s correct pronouns when referring to them, creates more awareness on establishing equality for the LGBTQ+ community. The notion of promoting inclusivity can also serve the purpose of holding people accountable when using pronouns. Americans who have noticed this movement towards challenging misgendering and dismantling the heteronormative society have begun to embrace it. “Overall, roughly half of Americans (52%) say they would be somewhat or very comfortable using a gender-neutral pronoun to refer to someone,” according to the same Pew Research Center survey. 

While this data shows how users have been growing more comfortable displaying their pronouns on social media, many users see social media as an outlet outside of their professional life to exercise self-expression. This brings up the issue of LinkedIn, which is a professional social-networking site. On sites like these, I feel it is still valuable to include pronouns for the same reasons as I argued for normal social media sites. While some may argue this unconventional practice is not appropriate for a professional site, I argue that why would you want a job under an employer who doesn’t support the LGBTQ+ community anyway? For an employer to think differently of you because you establish yourself as either a member or an ally for an underrepresented community is simply discrimination. Especially with higher violence rates towards LGBTQ+ individuals, you can start to make the professional world a little less hostile and dangerous by adding pronouns to your LinkedIn.

Clinical psychologist H.L. Lou Himes (they/them/theirs) acknowledged the small yet meaningful step adding pronouns to a LinkedIn bio is for equality. However, it also raises issues of safety, which shows how dangerous the world is for those who don’t identify with mainstream notions of ‘normalcy.’

“With murder rates rising among black trans women, attempts of suicide at a rate nine times that of the general population, and 30% of transgender people reporting harassment, discrimination, or violence in the workplace, well-meaning institutions must consider the safety of their transgender employees first and foremost,” Himes said. 

Despite societal progress defining gender through additional options on forms, inclusive bathrooms, and increased housing options, we unfortunately still live in a heterocentric society. Those who conform to pre-established notions of gender and “fit in,” are mainly heterosexual and cisgender individuals. They have a responsibility to those who “defy” societal norms, many of which belong to the LGBTQ+ community, to promote inclusivity and spread awareness about hate culture and misgendering. Displaying pronouns can help assist in discriminating against gender non-conforming and transgender individuals. 

It is important to ensure that those who do not fit the conventional standards of society from feeling unsafe and labeled with pronouns if they are not ready or don’t find any applicable. If you are not ready to display your pronouns, then you have every right not to. The language we use matters and it’s time mainstream society understands that. If you’re not sure of pronouns, ask. Hopefully, we’ll get to a point where everyone puts their pronouns in their bio’s and we’re an even more accepting society.